Wednesday, February 03, 2010

cement in the arse

Today I had one of those runs where you feel like a hungover elephant. I was tired, stressed, and heavy (exactly why I needed a run, some fresh air, and endorphins in the first place!). I headed out to do my regular loop in Central Park and was by no means going anywhere fast.

My tortoise ass was happy though the minute I got into the park. It had snowed last night and everything was white and beautiful (with an occasional yellow spot that cracked me up). A lot of dogs were out and they looked so happy, frolicking and jumping around.

I was just chugging along at snail pace, running peacefully in my own world. My last long run on Sunday was in 14 degree weather, with a 4 degree (!) wind chill, so today's 29 degrees felt balmy, despite the snow.

So, as I'm just happily trudging along in the snow, a large truck comes along side me on the road. I heard a loud motor noise, and then all of the sudden saw a bunch of white bullets flying out of the truck! Ok, so maybe they weren't bullets, but it was a salt truck and that fucker was shooting salt pellets across the road. Now, I'm not sure if the dude driving it intentionally targeted me, but he surely didn't try to miss the elephant on the side of the road. I'm sure I'm looked like a bad British comedy jumping and trying to get away from the pellets- those dang things stung like hell! It felt like somebody was shooting an automatic BB gun at my legs. Thank god for running tights.

I just had to stand there and laugh my ass off afterwards because the whole thing was hilarious (well, after the stinging stopped). I laughed almost all the way home too.

The best part, though, is once I got home I was telling Lauren what happened. Despite feeling like dog shit and being curled up in her bed, she still had her wits and just said "oh no poopie, you got 'a-salt-ed.'

: )

Friday, January 29, 2010

that time of year again

Yesterday I was on the treadmill at Lauren's work. I had to do an 8 mile run, which is pretty painful on the treadmill. Now, I am openly loving those once-dreaded machines, especially for speedwork. But for long, steady runs, I get bored as hell. A few times I've lucked out and the Daily Show & the Colbert Report were on, which made the time and miles fly.

I wasn't as lucky though yesterday, and could only find CNN. I thought it would be okay though, with analyses of the State of the Union (Justice Alito - What?!?), but I was wrong. Turns out this fart head had his show on the whole time. Despite thinking that my 3 year old niece Anika could have a better show, it was going okay. Until his last story.

The story was about Scott Roeder, the man who killed Dr. George Tiller. He killed him in church last May and is now on trial. (Actually I just checked for an update and he was found guilty of first-degree murder- thank goodness). Well, Rick Sanchez framed the story with the statement that Roeder felt 'he was saving thousands of lives' and was therefore justified in the killing, and then posed the headline question: "Is this a valid defense?"

I almost flew off the back of the treadmill.

How in the fuck could you even ask this question, CNN?!?! A person was murdered! (it took the jury 37 minutes to deliberate, for crying out loud!) Roeder walked up to Dr. Tiller in the middle of church and shot him point blank in the head. How could this be "valid" in any possible way?? The only reason this question is even asked is because the issue of women controlling their bodies is at the heart of the matter. It is offensive to the life of Dr. Tiller, the hundreds of people in that church, and every woman out there, to headline the entire story with this damn question! Yeah, viewers, post your responses on Twitter, so we can have a very in-depth discussion about the prompt. Fuck you CNN.

After gesticulating madly, undoubtedly swinging sweat across the room, and stomping out a very fast last mile, I was still pissed at the end of the run.

Well, as an a propos follow up, today I had an appointment for an annual exam at Planned Parenthood. Since I don't have health insurance right now (ironic since I spend so much time in hospitals....) Planned Parenthood was the one place I could afford to go. Plus, I've been going there for about 8 or 9 years and I love the organization. (Maybe I need to try to work for them, actually...) The one in Manhattan is on Margaret Sanger Square, which got me all excited, and on the walk over I was dreaming about it having an adjacent museum room documenting the history of reproductive rights in this country. Uh, not quite.

As soon as I walked in the door, I had to have my bag searched by a security guard. Then I had to walk through a metal detector and check in with another security guard. Then I got buzzed through two locked doors and into one main waiting room. No cell phones were allowed in the place at all. This makes sense considering that since 1977, 8 abortion doctors have been killed and 17 others have faced murder attempts. The daily mail article also said that there have been 175 arsons and 41 bombings since that year. It should NOT be like this. It makes my blood boil and my heart break.

The exam itself was fine - I mean, what is not to like about the scrape? Especially this time - had to have two of them. Ugh. I don't mind any part of the exam except that dang scrape. The nurse was very nice though, and it all went okay. Until I left.

I went into the main waiting room, which was awkward because about 30 people, mainly men, were waiting for patients inside and all their nervous eyes looked up at the opening door.....I am glad they were there to support what I am assuming are their partners, but it makes me sad and nervous for them. I finally exited into damn protesters out on the sidewalk. For the love of god, you assholes.

One woman was right by the door with rosaries and pamphlets, and another man held part of the door for me and made a "tsk, tsk" sound at me and scowled. He stared at me, shaking his head, and audibly grunting, until I was out of eyesight. I kept looking back to see if his creepy, jerky eyes were still on me, and they were. I wanted to kick him as hard as I could in his stomach. You ignorant piece of shit.

Why he isn't "tsk tsk"ing the politicians who prevent ALL women from easily accessing affordable reproductive health services with their fucked up policies? Or why not the groups who protest comprehensive sex education in schools? Or, I don't know, their brothers who rape and molest women? There are countless other problems that need to be fixed and until EVERY girl and woman feels safe and healthy in her own body, has every opportunity and ability to do what is best for her physically, sexually, and emotionally, is fully aware of her options and has access to them, and believes in her value and worth as a human being, you, Mr. Protester grunting at me, can shut the fuck up. Don't say one god damn word to me or any other woman walking out of this clinic. And no, Rick Sanchez, Roeder does NOT have a defense, and you even asking that question is offensive and absolutely not okay.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

the clan

The Smith clan had some family pictures taken this Christmas. Things were a bit chaotic at the house and probably all of us were at least half way to a breakdown, but nevertheless, we got it together for some pics. The super talented Meghann Street of Your Street Photography came out amidst the insanity to take them.

Here's a sampling of our crazy, lovely family.


The immediate fam.


Courtney, Jason and Maya dog


Dad and his goils.


The extended fam.


Carrie, Sinclair, and Anika


Marm and Dad


Mom, Branden, Lucy (aka LuLu or Lucifer), and Tucker

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Race Report

Warning: this is filled with pure, concentrated, unabashed running geekiness.

I ran the New York Road Runners Club Manhattan half marathon this morning. It worked perfectly with my training schedule, and I was a little bit curious to see what I had in these stubby legs of mine with some training. I haven't really run a race since October 2008 at the Portland Marathon (suck it, George W. Bush and your stupid marathon time!) so I wasn't sure what to expect. I did run the Crater Lake Marathon in August of this year, but that was just for scenery and masochistic pleasure.

So, I woke up this morning around 6:20 (I'm the worst ever with the snooze button) and started trying to figure out what to wear. I spend more time deciding on running clothes (sister doesn't want to chafe or freeze) than I do everyday clothes. It was tricky weather wise because they were expecting it to be 40 degrees and overcast. ECM, you would have loved it. If it is below 30 I know what to wear, and same thing if it is over 50. Anything in between kills me though. I decided on my running ninja outfit - Jason and I have matching ones that we like to act like idiots in before runs - and got ready to leave.

Lauren & Mike probably live about 3/4 mile from the park. I thought it would be perfect to slowly run there so I'd be nice and warmed up. Well, as I got to where I thought the start was on E. 63rd street, nobody was there. Ummm, mysterious. I finally asked some guy who looked like a fellow geek if the start was here on 63rd, and he said "yes, but on the West side." Shit. So, little Poopie stubby legs had a nice fast extra 3/4 mile to the other side of the park. Who warms up for a mile and a half before a long race? Dumbass.

Ah well.....I got into my corral and two minutes later they closed the gates. Whew!

I was cracking up while waiting to start the real race because dude on my left was doing speedy high knees in place for minutes (?) and a dude in front of me was reading the NY Times. Hilarious. The best pre-race moment though came when the national anthem was playing. There was a woman next to me who had her I-Pod blasting and Miley Cyrus' Party in the USA was streaming to all of us around her. I couldn't figure out out to interpret this Miley-Rockets'-Red-Glare moment and could only think to myself "God Bless America." Oy.

Ok, so then the race started. It went a little like this:

Mile 1: We are like sardines. I hit the mile marker at 7:35. Crap!! Too fast. I tell myself to chill the hell out. I see Lauren & Mike - yipee!

Mile 2: Starting to have a bit more room, thank goodness. Hit the second mile marker at 7:30. Idiot! What are you doing? I'm usually a super solid pacer and don't want to blow it by mile 10.

Mile 3: A little better - 7:50 split. I'm surprisingly having the feeling that my bowels will not revolt on me today. Could this be true? I'm sure I looked perplexed throughout this mile, pondering this modern miracle.

Mile 4: Where in the F did these hills come from? Quads are burning. 7:45 split, though it makes me nervous because it was up a fatty hill. Made me forget all about poop.

Mile 5: Ahhhhh downhill. I'm a freaking turtle running downhills, but I know this, so I try to let go down the hill. I saw a guy with the best calf muscles I have EVER seen in my life around this mile (sorry, Sarah C). He could have been a calf model. I decide it might be creepy if I tell him that. From this point on, I lose my splits. And I'm too dumb to work my watch.

Mile 6: Getting close to finishing the first loop (course was 2.5 loops). Feeling okay so far, even though I'm hot as balls. Damn 31 - 50 weird weather window. The ninja is melting.

Mile 7: I see Lauren and Mike again! I ask if I'm winning. Lauren says "you're up there." She meant I was about 5,000 places from the winner. Same thing as winning really. I love aid stations.

Mile 8: A guy in front of me has very unfortunate running pants on. I really want to pass him, just because of his pants. I see a greyhound running in the park and it makes me think of Joe.

Mile 9: I take a mocha flavored GU. It is disgusting. The worst part is I took a swig of water and spit some out. It was brown from the GU. Essentially it looked like I diarrhea-ed from my mouth. Nasty. I start pretending that Laurel will be at the next mile marker to run me in. That keeps me going for awhile.

Mile 10: This hill again?!?! I keep reminding myself that I love hills. I love hills (I really do). I think about Chambers and Greenhill, Ridgeline with Shannon B., and Hendricks. This little Central Park bump ain't got shit. Or so I try to tell myself. I take another swig of water, spit it out and it is still brown. Honestly disgusting.

Mile 11: Whose damn idea was this in the first place?? I start rethinking my plan to actually run fast at Vancouver. It definitely isn't as enjoyable. Dear god. I distract those thoughts by thinking of Shannon C. who was so patient with an injury and has started running again. Makes me smile.

Mile 12: Ok, one measly mile. I always think of doing the Joe Henderson "Mac court" mile loop. I can visualize that.

Mile 12.3: Second wind?! yay!

Mile 12.5: False alarm. This hurts like hell.

Mile 12.7: No, really, a second wind! My legs are moving!

Mile 13: Hi Lauren and Mike!

Mile 13.1: Holy crapola am I happy to be done!!!!!!!!!!!! I forget about all the pain instantaneously. Funny how that happens.

Time: 1:42.17
Pace: 7:48

Chafing: none - true victory : )

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

whew

We got good news!

Dr. Saltz let us know today that the tumors are shrinking from the chemo. He said they are not shrinking a ton, but are shrinking nonetheless. I think the way he put it was: "it isn't wow, they shrank!" but rather "good, they shrank." He also said that the tumor markers that determine their activity in the liver went even further down, which is another good sign! So, all around good report from Sloan Kettering today. Go Team!

Lauren got her pump filled with chemo and was hooked up to fanny with the systemic chemo. It is never a fun or easy day when she has chemo, but it went relatively smoothly today and without much nausea. Whew!

A big thank you to both Robert Watson and Margie for keeping us nourished the past two days! You two are very sweet and our bellies thank you.

Thanks to all of you as well for your thoughts and prayers!! The love and support make such a difference for Lauren through all this crap.

Hooray for Continued Shrinking!!

cancer sucks

Intense day here. We are waiting at Lauren's cancer center to meet with her oncologist. Lauren will get chemo and have things checked out, but then the big event today is finding out the results of the CT scan she had on Friday. It'll tell us whether the tumors are shrinking and thus if the pump to her liver is working. It will be FABULOUS if it is and will push her in a specific direction (a hard one, no doubt, but with hope at the end). If it isn't working, well, it'll be shitty. This was plan B as is, since the other chemo in the end did not work on her liver.

SOOO, for the love of everything sacred in this world, give us a freaking break and let this chemo work!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

coach Joe

Of course Joe "the most modest person EVER" Henderson didn't tell anyone about this fabulous article in Marathon & Beyond all about his life and his effects of the sport of running! So glad to have found an online copy.

It is such a great article, especially picturing Joe through it all (even rounding up the hogs!). He is such an inspirational and motivating fellow. Just love him.

He recently wrote me something that was really helpful. In reference to the giant crappiness of 2009 that is seeping into 2010, he reminded me that "endurance isn't just for marathons."

Thursday, January 14, 2010

rain

Whew!

I've been on a whirlwind trip to Oregon this past week. I had an epically horrid travel day getting here, but alas I finally did. If ever I can avoid flying in or out of Las Vegas in my life, by the way, I will. Ew, and annoying.

I spent a few days in Eugene - rainy, gray Eugene. It was fantastic to catch up with friends and to see such lovely faces. It has been hard to keep in touch with people since I've been in NY (4 months now) because of our odd schedule, not having much free time, and because life's a real shit storm right now. Even the 'how are you?' question can be tricky because I don't want to tell the truth, as 'really shitty' is an unbecoming and awkward response.

Annnyway, it was really nice to run, drink, and eat with friends. And to hear what is going on in their lives.... I'm pretty damn lucky to know such interesting and spirited people. It was a pick me up to remember what being around them feels like.

I did get a few good ole Eugene runs in as well, of course! I visited Hendricks Park and Pre's memorial, rocked the Ridgeline with Shannon B., ran along the Rexius Trail, and had a beautiful long run with Jason and Maya to Dorris Ranch (swoon). That all really is hard to beat.

The morning I left Jason and I did do a final speed workout. 6 am on the track was an interesting sight! We did an 800 - 600 - 400 - 200 set, three times at 5k pace. It was fun to do together and despite a bowel emergency (just the usual) and the ROTC invasion on the track near the end (we decided we could beat them in the mile they were running) it was fantastic. Week three of training is definitely underway!

I'm in Albany now, just until early tomorrow morning. I fly out of PDX at 6 am (awesome) and will head back to New York. The couple of days here have been rather productive. We're arranging Dad's care until the end of February, so that has been a monstrous task. I think we finally have it down though. As I type this, I am wondering if home care will be included in the new Health Care Plan......Shit, did we get the abortion coverage in the end? Thanks so much, Stupak.

Jessica came down for dinner last night, which was wonderful. It was very fun to see her and talk again and my parents just love her. And she's rocking the pixie once again!!

The best part of last night though was when I asked Dad if I could get him a snack or something to drink. His usual beverage of choice is whole milk with ice cubes in it. Well, last night he said sure - how about a drink. Like an orange juice and vodka with ice?

Sure, whatever the hell you want Pops.